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[personal profile] amethyststar

It is never to late-in fiction or in life-to revise. (Nancy Thayer)


Good Morning, my friends and Happy St. Patrick's Day! It is a beautiful morning here in Vegas and my day started pretty well too. I finally hit my 20 pound mark...22.5 actually.  4 pounds gone this week!!!  I thought I was never gonna make it. The first 15 wers so easy! (relatively speaking) I have never worked so hard or struggled so much (And I was doing everything correctly) to lose 5 pounds!

Yanno, I hit my highest weight during my marriage (he is an alcoholic) and didn't find out til after I left my ex that I had become a stress eater
. When we separated, I dropped 60 pounds in about 3 months, not doing anything special (besides my dancing), because suddenly the stress was gone. It literally fell off.

I ended up putting it on again once I was in a really bad roommate situation, and once I was out of there, I dropped about 20-25 almost immediately, again without much effort. In fact, it seemed once I tried to start "working" on it to lose more, the more stubborn it became!  The the harder I dieted, the harder it was to lose the weight. It is just so wierd.

Since setting foot upon this path, I have learned that I wasn;t and overeater, I  just ate badly all the time,.I was a junky eater!  This site I belong to, gives me a calorie range and I very often find that, while eating eating healthy, I struggle to eat up to the lowest end of the range. I find that amazing! I questioned that for the longest time, but now I understand that you have to eat to lose weight. That my body needs the energy to do the work that burns the calories. It is such a conundrum...but I have seen the results.

I have finally learned the difference between "dieting" and "Lifestyle Change." Much to my surprise it is easier in some ways then I thought it would be! I haven't had a soda or chips since the first of the year(Except for half a glass of Dr. Pepper and a handful of chips on my birthday) and I haven't missed them. I buy large quantities of veggies and fruit, I have cut back(But can't cut out entirely cause I love it) red meat, and I drink approximately 10-12 glasses of water a day. I have learned there is no "bad" food or "Good" food. I can incorporate my favourite goodies into my lifestyle. I joined a gym two weeks ago and get up at 4:30 every morning to walk on the treadmill. I am up to 50 minutes and a lttle over two miles. Today I meet with my trainer and learn how to use the machines and weights.

I have to admit that my enthusisam is not as great now as it was at the beginning. I floated for about the first  month, recommending left and right the free weight support group I was led to (www. and getting up at 5 am to dance evey morning. I wish I still had that GUNGHO attitude, that excitiment and thrill.  

I often find myself  trying to talk myself out of the full 50 minutes on the treadmill. I have to push, lecture and cajole myself to finish. However, once done, there is an intense feeling of pride that I pushed through and finished. Go Figure!   I realize now, that  I have the deep seated motivation, the determination to be healthier and life my life more succulantly! It isn't all about losing the weight. It is about becoming a happier, healthier, more alive me!

I am just full of contradictions this morning! *LOL*  The one thing I am really looking forward to ( beside new clothes and being able to sit cross legged, among other things) is going to my Party in September and my Faire in October and having my friends and Faire Family NOT recognize me(or at the very least having their jaws drop when they see me.) All of my friends and family have never known me any other way but Heavy. Heck, it seems I have never known me any other way but heavy!

Well, time to finish my laundry and get ready to meet with my trainer.

Have a great weekend and be sure to do at least one thing that makes you happy!


Love, Light and Laughter,

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